consider this.

Life is strange. 

Consider this: I am sitting on my couch in front of a heater (I love a good electric heater), enjoying a smoothie and a witty email from a friend, while simultaneously livid at "my" team for falling behind 15 points in the first 9 minutes of a college basketball game. At the same moment, I get a text from two of my friends in different parts of the country whose patients passed away today. I think about those children, taken too soon from our perspective. About their parents who never fathomed having to go through this when they stayed up late into the night dreaming about what their future children would be like. I think about their siblings who don't understand. I think about the nurses and doctors who couldn't do what they were "supposed to", who couldn't fix it this time, who are deeply affected by the loss of their sweet, mischievous patient, or who may be too jaded to even feel it because they've seen this same story line play out so often... I almost feel the most sorry for those people...

Then my mind travels farther across the choppy Atlantic, the very ocean I spent half a year on last year. I think about the patients I cared for who have now left the ship, their lives transformed, and I wonder, while sipping my smoothie loaded with flax and chia seeds because apparently that's what we should eat if we want to live healthier, fuller lives... I wonder, even though they no longer have a tumor making it difficult to eat, do they have enough food? Are they still teased and shunned in their village? Have they been brave enough to return to school, though they are levels behind because they stopped attending when their face started becoming more and more disfigured? I think about all the people-- dads and brothers and babies and grandmothers-- we had to turn away when they sought help from the ship, because it wasn't "within our scope". And my heart especially starts to crumble when I think about those who have not even had the opportunity to seek relief from an organization like Mercy Ships, those who are trapped deep in the interior of a war-torn country, wrecked by a decades-long war that we likely know very little about here in the U.S. on our couches in front of our flat-screens and electric heaters. 

With 7 billion+ people in the world, there are as many stories all happening at once. That's what I mean when I say life is strange. It's the dichotomies. One man is having the best day of his life at work while his coworker just found out he was laid off... again. One woman is stressing over which baby carrier to purchase while her neighbor just miscarried for the third time. One mom frustratedly tosses out a burnt casserole while another mom picks through trash in hopes of finding something to feed her kids that night. One college student skips class because she doesn't feel like going (guilty as charged on more than one occasion) while another student studies by candlelight in her family hut, hoping maybe, possibly, she will be the exception in her community and will get to attend university. 

I don't say all this to make us feel guilty, but in hopes of giving perspective. You never know what the person next to you may be going through (spare just 4 minutes to watch that video?). You never know what tomorrow may bring. Even if you eat all the chia seeds in South America, today may be it. So be compassionate. Count your blessings. Cry. Ask the hard questions even if you know you may not get an answer. And remember it is a big world. And you are not alone. And you are not in control nor is the weight of the world on your shoulders. But you are here for a reason. Pray. Even if you've never done it before or you aren't sure how. It's just like talking. I believe God is always listening anyway. Try to see beyond all the clichés I just used, re-read this paragraph, slowly, and look for truth. Consider how you can apply it to your life. Today.

Consider what you can do to gain a better sense of what's going on in the world, in the life of a "sister" an ocean away. How you can get to know and better care for your neighbor? Or your favorite Starbucks barista? Or your coworker with whom it seems you have nothing in common? Or your brother you've been mad at for 2 years? 

I've given this a lot of thought recently, so here are some ways I am determined to do life differently, to expand my perspective and make the most of today...

• I am sponsoring Evas, a 6-year-old little girl in Uganda, through Compassion International.
• I am trying to stop half-listening and start listening between the lines. 
• I am praying that I am more aware of when I'm being selfish. Which is most of the time.
• I am going to read The Lexus and the Olive Tree and re-read The World is Flat (Friedman)... and The End of Poverty (Sachs)-- embarrassed I haven't read that yet.
• I am giving up buying myself clothes for a while (I'm too wimpy to give it an exact time frame at the moment) and putting that money toward something more sustainable... I'm not sure what yet. And perhaps more importantly, reminding myself that clothes are not what makes me pretty.
• I am intentionally opening up my heart more at work, looking for more ways to show my patients and families I truly care about them, even if it means I "get too attached" or stay a bit later at the end of my shift. I refuse to become jaded, and I know I will have to fight against that each day. 
• I am making it a point to read up on world news on my iPhone each day before I catch up on instagram or ESPN or facebook.
• I am continuing to pray for Mercy Ships, through their requests highlighted here: https://www.mercyships.org/pray/
• I am going to a initiate a lot of conversations with the people around me about what it means to them to cherish and make the most of today. I look forward to exchanging ideas and learning from you. :)